I worked full time for two and a half years in a customer service / quasi-project manager role. I was grateful to find a job when I needed one, and at a sketchy time in our nation's economy. I worked hard at that job and took pride in doing my best. I worked with some really great people. I made friends that I will keep for life. I learned a lot about the business world and even more about myself.
One of the things that I learned about myself is that I will never love the telecom business, no matter how hard I try. And, believe me, I tried. I was presented with opportunities to learn more and move up in the company. It was very flattering, but instead of being excited about these opportunities, I became increasingly desperate to escape that world. I yearned to have more time to be creative. I spent many lunch breaks jotting down ideas for art, home decorating, and writing projects of all sorts. In every room of the house there are notebooks and loose pieces of paper which have story ideas, drawings, and lists of projects scribbled in them.
I agonized, deliberated, prayed about the decision. I asked friends and relatives for their honest opinion. I worried about what people would think. I worried about losing the income for our family. I kept asking my husband, "Are you sure it's okay?" Almost every day I asked him the same questions, seeking reassurance, giving him the chance to change his mind.
Because *what if* I suck at writing and art and make a fool of myself? Publicly. *shudder*
My last day at my J.O.B. was 2 days before the end of school for my daughter. This summer I have been focused mostly on enjoying my daughter and my husband, getting back into exercising, hiking with my dog...
It has been a lot of fun, and I am ever so grateful to have the chance to do it! However, this whole time, in the back of my mind (sometimes the middle, and occasionally the front), has been the need to spend some time alone to carve away some of the residue which has clogged my brain.
Back in May (before I quit my job) I signed up for a workshop (see below), along with the lovely and talented Mary Ann Lana. (PLEASE, for your own sake, check her out. She is not only gorgeous and brilliant, but she is an inspired photographer, and fricken hilarious!) I have a lot of ambitious ideas for this fall, including attending this event in a few weeks!
I have been somewhat obsessively following artists that I find inspirational, and need to take action in the direction of creating my own art and writing. I am trying to get myself organized and motivated, and doing as much as I can think of in order to get that ball rolling.
On Monday I am going to start a detox / clean eating week which will include some of this Hay House cleansing beverage, and some of Lauren Kelly's clean eating menu. I have caffeine and sugar addictions that need tempering. I feel foggy and am lacking focus. I have done clean eating before, and felt amazing after the cravings subsided, but had difficulties sticking to it. So, this time, I convinced my sweet husband to do the cleanse with me. Safety in numbers? Let's hope.
I will keep you posted.
Anyone out there struggling with motivation, clarity, and instilling healthy habits? Suggestions, thoughts, commiserations, concerns?